Worship

Early last week, Psalm 63 came to mind, and I don't know why, but when I read it early Sunday morning on my way to church, verse 3 stood out to me. Psalm 63:3 says "Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you". I thought this verse was pretty neat, especially as I was going to be leading worship at church that morning. 

But what is worship? Singing on a Sunday morning at church? Praying before a meal? Worship is a way of living, how we (as Christians) live each day. In Greek (the language of the New Testament) worship is 'λατρεία' meaning devotion or adoration. So worship is not just an act of singing to God on Sunday mornings at church, but it is the way in which we choose to live our life. I do my best to live everyday in worship of God - I want to adore God and I am devoted to him. Saying 'I adore and I am devoted to God' sounds so much more beautiful than 'I worship God'. There is something beautiful about living one's life for a God, a deity that we've never met nor seen. 

So maybe it sounds weird to say I worship God, by loving, adoring, and staying devoted to him. But do you know why I've chosen this way of life? Because God has done so much more for me than I could have ever imagined, when I was sad he gave me pure unending joy, when I felt rejected he loved me, and when I was lost he found me. God is so much more to me than only that guy we pray to at church, or before meals. God is real to me, I can feel he is with me, I can experience the love and joy he gives me. 

I want to tell a short story. In high school I got in with the wrong group of friends, and because of them I changed the way I acted - I swore, I talked like them, and I even began to act like them. Little did I know that I was hurting myself by acting like this. Before I knew it, I was unhappy, feeling dissatisfied with life, and I got angry easily. I didn't care about school any more, and that year my grades dropped. I was messing around, living in the moment, carefree. Then that summer, when the school year was out, I went on a trip to M'Chigeeng to serve the wonderful people on the First Nations Reserve on behalf of an organization called DayStar. I went with my church, and in that community, we ran a day camp. We taught the kids about God, told them how much he loved them, and for once in a very long time I began to realize how much God loved me. If I could love these beautiful children, and if love comes from God, then God must have a much bigger heart for me than I could ever imagine. I can't remember the exact time, day, or moment, but some point on that reserve I came to love and adore God. I came back from that trip feeling like I had better vision, physically I could see better. I could see better colours, better light, somehow my eyes felt opened wide and I felt happiness that would never leave me - joy. It was completely wonderful, in serving others and forgetting about myself, God answered a silent prayer, a desperate plea, he took away my unhappiness, he gave me satisfaction, he took away my anger, even the swearing stopped. This was how I came to know God's love for me, through the love I saw in these beautiful children. I didn't realize how much I needed God's love until he gave it to me. God is love. I know that God is love because 2000 years ago, he came to earth in the form of a man, and died for my life, knowing that I would make mistakes. But he chose to love me enough to make me his daughter. Because he died for me, I can always come to him and talk to him as my Father, he is a wonderful father who hears my prayers and answers the whispers of my hurting heart. He didn't just die for me - he died for every single person, and anyone who accepts him can have a loving relationship with him, just ask.

See why I worship my God? Because if he died for me, the least I could give him in return is my devotion, my time. I live my life as an act of worship so people can look at me and see that God has given me joy and a wonderful life to live. I live to tell people my story, to inspire those who feel like their life isn't perfect. My God is perfect, but my life isn't and that's why I need him. He took my darkness (hurt, sadness, and anger) and replaced it with light (joy, happiness, and a smile).

Here's a poem I wrote a little more than a year ago called The Cards are not Mine:

So many things,

Dragging me down.

Everything I did,

... Everywhere I went.

Memories.

Pain.

Rejection.

Are no more.

I found peace outside,

Behind old doors.

Locked,

They were no longer.

Soon came healing,

From another source.

I gave my life away,

Traded for another.

Love came in,

Replacing old feelings.

Joy.

Understanding.

A new beginning,

With a different ending.

Would I trade again?

No.

The cards are not mine

To keep or deal.

God bless! 

Trust in Him

I must confess, I do not always trust God. I often rely on myself, others, or family for my answers to life's probing questions. Yet, as I look back at this week, God has shown me through at least two separate instances that I need to learn to trust him more.

The first instance was through reading Psalm 91. I began my week by reading Psalm 91, and all week it kept on coming to mind, then today as I re-looked at that specific Psalm, its a Psalm all about trusting God. Psalm 91 gives reasons to; God because he has saved many from their perils in the past, in 91:10 it says "no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent", referring to saving the Israelites from the plagues in Exodus. This Psalm also talks about how God will be a defence in times of trouble, a deity that we can return to when life gets rough - Psalm 91:1-2 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust". 

The second instance occurred through a song called Oceans by Hillsong United.  It's a beautiful song that I've been listening to off and on all week. It talks about how God has called each and every one of us to be His. One line in particular says, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you will call me.Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Saviour". This song is all about trusting God and letting him lead you through rough and stormy waters. Though circumstances may completely drag you down, God will always be there to lead you out of the stormy waters, and you will never sink when he is the one you put your trust in. 

It's funny how God can use two separate things during my week to show me that my trust in Him was lacking, and He was so specific as to point out a situation that had been on my mind all week. He showed me that my friendship with this particular person was in his hands, that I should stop worrying over it, that the questioning was to be left up to him. Trusting his good plan for my life is the best thing for me to do right now, because by worrying I know I will get no farther than I was yesterday. No amount of googling, questioning, or wondering will change anything about my current situation - but God can. 

Trust isn't an easy thing, and I know that, especially when a situation seems uncertain or we are used to being let down. But I know for sure that when we trust God to take care of a situation, he always pulls through, he keeps his promises and never lets us down. Psalm 37:5 says "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act", this is as much of a command as it is a promise. God promises that when we give him our burdens, our troubles, and our worries, that he will take them, and secure him with his promise that he will never leave us or forsake us, nor will he leave us fighting on our own. 

I will leave you with Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight". I highly recommend you take a look at Oceans by Hillsong United - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw . God bless!

My Story

Hello, my name is Hannah. I am currently in University and recently I've decided to start this blog. I plan on updating roughly once a week (probably Sunday) or whenever I feel the need to speak what's on my mind.

I've called my blog Passion for the King because I think it best describes who I am. I am a lover of my King, and I desire to share my passion with those around me. I can't lie, God is a big part of my life and I desire to live for Him. 

To begin I might as well start with a little bit about myself and who I am. Like I said, my name is Hannah and I'm in my second year of University. I was raised by two wonderful parents who cared for me and wanted the best for me. I began attending church at the age of 5 and its been a part of my life ever since. I guess you could say I grew up in the church, I acted in the church plays, I participated in Bible memorizing, I did it all. With every week of church I began to grow a deep love for God, and at the age of 8 I decided that I wanted to live the rest of my life for Jesus. I knew that I had made the right choice, God had chosen me and I chose to follow him. At the age of 10 I publicly declared my love for Him in front of my church as I was baptised, acknowledging that I had chosen to live in a way that pleased God. After that point, I knew I had changed, I became more compassionate, but shortly after, I started getting bullied, it affected me, it was painful feeling rejected by my school friends. As a result, I was afraid to share my opinions in class, and just as pre-teenhood approached me, I became very quiet at school.

Yet, through all this, I always felt comfortable in my church, going to church every week kept me strong and I knew that I could always come back to my church if the bullying got worse. I was shy in school, but at home and church I could be outgoing, it was more comfortable for me. Church was somewhere I felt loved: loved by my parents, loved by my friends, but more importantly, loved by God. As I entered high school, things were different, the bullying stopped, yet I still was reserved and shy in large group settings. Grade 10 was no different, but grade 11 was when I decided that I wanted to change things. I was hurt from my past bullying, and I was slowly becoming more self conscious about my self image. In grade 11, I decided that I was going to have different friends, I wanted to fit in like I never had. I changed my friend group, I hung out with some kids I deemed 'cooler' than my old friends. We swore together, we made fun of others, and we had fun; we did things that made us feel good. We were all hurting in different ways. As a result of these friends, I put school, family, and church as second priorities. Enjoying ourselves was more important than school, family, or for me, taking a moment to spend time with God.

Before I entered grade 12, I applied for a trip to work with an organization called Day Star. It was a trip that a church was leading; it involved working on a First Nations Ojibwa reserve called M'Chigeeng, to run a free summer camp. I applied and I was accepted, and that summer was one of the best summers of my life. I went there to serve the people, and in turn God changed my heart. I began to focus on God once again and I knew that God wanted me to return to him, that the life I had chosen to live that past year or so was not good for me. God taught me to love others, and he gave me a self confidence I never had. In 10 days, I grew a deep love for my God, who I knew had chosen me that summer to show love to a beautiful community of people. I came back with a joy that only God could give me, and an appreciation for my parents care for me while I was growing up. I went into grade 12 that Fall, and my friends saw the change in me, I was happier, and it was evident in all that I did. I expressed to my old friends the love I had for Jesus and my newly made friends didn't want anything to do with me any more. It didn't bother me, I had my old friends back and I began to tell all those who were close to me about how God had changed my life just that past summer. I went into grade 12 with a clear mind, I devoted much of my time to my work and I started a Bible study with a couple friends that we geared towards students at school who were labelled as "Special-Ed". God used that time to teach me what it was like to serve him, in school and outside of school. That year, I got accepted to the Christian University of my choice, and that's the school I attend now. Every year I return back to the lovely community of M'Chigeeng and I love working at Day Star day camp! Every year I go to serve the people, and God surprises me by changing my heart in a different way every time! I have fallen in love with the people of M'Chigeeng and I've fallen in love with God all over again.

I am a girl who believes that an extraordinary God can do wonderful things. I am a living testimony of the love of God; when I was lost He came up to me, said my past was in his hands, and that he wanted to give me a new life. I fell in love with my Creator, and each day I love him a little bit more. Since grade 12, I have come to understand that God loved me so much that he died for the wrong I would do in the future, he gave up his life so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to love him! God has given me a passion for telling others about how he changed my life, and now I love speaking about him. I can't boast in my strengths, nor in my weaknesses, because I know that God has given me each to teach me lessons in this life. 

I have called this blog Passion for the King because I want to show people how much my God loves each and every one of us. I am honest, I will share my struggles and joys. I believe that God will use this blog for his purposes.

"My heart will praise the Lord for He has done great things." Psalm 111:1-2